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Funny SMS

01 advise for hot june



Dear June


Please take panadol twice a day


Your temperature is very high


02 new year 2014 best funny sms



‘Happy New Year’ – I commented on her facebookstatus


She – Same to you.


I edited my comment to ‘I LOVE YOU’




03 how to kill the mosquito on your cheek 



Arguing with me is like killing the mosquito on your cheek, you might or might not kill it, but you’ll end up slapping yourself…

04 Using facebook since 2009 



A Boy started using Facebook since 10th May 2009 andhas 263 friends..!!








A girl started using FB since 9th Dec 2013 and has 3522

friends, 25,472 Followers, 99+ unread Messages, 99+

Pending Notification…


05 i wish there was something between us. 



Guy- you’re pretty

Girl- thanx


Guy- i wish there was something between



Girl- me too


Guy- really, like what?


Girl- a wall


06 Top Answers Of Teachers



Top Answers Of Teachers If TheyDon’t Know The Answers!.




– I Think The Question Is Wrong :p


– I’ll Tell You Tomorrow :p


– Don’t Ask Foolish Questions :p


– You’ll Study This In The Next Class :- ?





And The Most Famous 1





– Nice Question, Raise Your Hands

Who Know The Answer For This? (If No









It Is An Assigment For You ! :


07 University life



University life…ASSIGNMENT copy karte waqt,


“Oyeeeee!! Yeh kya likha hai?”


“Jo lafz samjh arha hai wo likh, jo nahi aa raha uska aisa he design bana de:-D


08 A BOY was sitting in a Park



A BOY was sitting in a Park behind a tree with his Girl Friend…An Old man:

Beta! Kia ye Hamari Tehzeeb hai?



nahi uncle, Ye Defence wali nosheen hai.


09 Boy nd girl in matric exam



Ultimate Truth:.If a Girl Fails In MATRIC

Then Directly Marriage…







If a Boy Fails In MATRIC

Then Directly Garrage…


Funny But True%-)!


10 English by school pti



Terrifying English, by a PT:-) Teacher =))1. There is no wind in the football.

2. I talk, he talk, why you middle talk ?


3. You rotate the ground 4 times.


4. You go & under stand the tree.


5. I’ll give clap on your face.


6. Bring your parents with your mother & father.


7. Why Haircut not cut


8. Why Are You looking Outside at the Monkeys When I’m there in the Class?


9. Throw that paper in Dustbin or I will Throw Myself !:-P


11 Funny people



*Funny Quote*A lot of these people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.GEORGE CARLIN 

12 angry boss



Angry Boss:tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai ?Employee:(sar jhuka ke)nahi sirBoss:neeche kya dekh rhe ho meri taraf dekho.

13 Makes Sure She Spends



”An Intelligent Wife Is OneWho Makes Sure She SpendsSo Much


Her Husband

Can’t Afford Another

Women….” =P (”,)

0rkut Was Doing That To




You Are

Saving Me Money On

Birthday Cards For The

Past 3 Years. . .

Before That

0rkut Was Doing That To

Me For 2 Years … =P




ME .. =D


14 How To Tell Them



~ AttitudePersonified ~

People Say To Me

“Sudhar Jao… Improvement Lao”


How To Tell Them..

“There’s No Scope 0f

Improvement In Perfection” … =P =D


15 Husband Stop Eating My Brain



Wife: What�s On Your Mind ?What R U Thinking Now?

Husband: Stop Eating My Brain


Read My Latest STATUS UPDATE! =P 😉


16 Youre Like A Dictionary 



Exclusive Pickup Lines

– Are You Going To Kiss Me


Do I Have To Lie To My Diary?


– Are You Religious?

Good, Because

I’m The Answer To Your



– Compared To You, The Sun

Feels Cold.


– I Just Had To Come Talk With

You. Sweetness Is My Weakness.


– I Looked Up The Word “Beautiful”

In The Thesaurus Today, And Your

Name Was Included.


– Is Your Name Gillette?

Because You’re The Best A Man

Can Get


– You’re Like A Dictionary –

You Add Meaning To My Life! …

(“,) =D


17 O So Nice Question



Journalist: Aap Ka Favrt. Phool Kon Sa Hai?Meera: O So Nice Question…


Phoolon Me Mujhe Flower Bohat Pasand Hain. :-]





Dear Girls,If A Guy Pauses His PLAY STATION

Just To Text You Back ..

Marry Him♥


…Dear Boys,

If A Girl Ruins Her Wet NAIL

POLISH Just To Text You Back ..

Marry Her♥




19 Our Dreams R Always BIG 



Why Do Students Sleep For Long Hours..??

Fantastic Answer Said By Students..






‘Our Dreams R Always BIG’!


20 Well I M Bored



-Ultimate Funda-V Need A Way Of Telling
People They Have Bad
Breath Without Hurting
Their FeelingsLike
-Ultimate Funda-

V Need A Way Of Telling
People They Have Bad
Breath Without Hurting
Their Feelings

-Ultimate Funda-

V Need A Way Of Telling
People They Have Bad
Breath Without Hurting
Their Feelings


“Well I M Bored
Let’s Go Brush 0ur Teeth …” =P =D

“Well I M Bored
Let’s Go Brush 0ur Teeth …” =P =D

“Well I M Bored
Let’s Go Brush 0ur Teeth …” =P =D



21 The Girl Died With A Note




Girl: What You’ll Do If I Die?


Boy: I’ll Live Happily For D Rest

Of My Life


Next Day


The Girl Died With A Note:

” I’ll Do Anything For Your





Never Joke With Brainless

Girls … =P =D


22 Straight To My Face



 Dear Friends ,


“Instead 0f Tagging Me

In Ugly Pictures 0n


I Wish You Could Just Say

“I Hate You”

Straight To My Face … =/ =P





23 Jims Funeral Is On SundayA Wife Treats Hubby By Taking



Him To A Lap Dance Club

For His Birthday ..


At The Club:

Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?

Wife Asks: How Does He Know


Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football

With Him

Inside Barman Says: The Usual

Jim ?

Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say

Anything , He’s On The Darts Team

In My Local

Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim

Do You Crave Special Again ?

The Wife Storms Out Dragging

Jim With Her & Jumps Into A


Driver Says “Hey Jimmy Boy , You

Picked Up An Ugly One This Time..”


Jim’s Funeral Is On Sunday … =P =D


24 For Every Lover In This World Call It A Fate 0r Some Miracle Upon 



(For Every Lover

In This World)

(For Every Lover

In This World)


Call It A Fate

0r Some Miracle Upon You,

There r Few Things Which

No 0ne Can Do Better Than You,

Whenever I’ll Die

I’ll Ask GOD For Sure

















Tum Mujhe Itna TORTURE

Kr Kese Leti Ho. . . =P =D

(For Every Lover

In This World)


Call It A Fate

0r Some Miracle Upon You,

There r Few Things Which

No 0ne Can Do Better Than You,

Whenever I’ll Die

I’ll Ask GOD For Sure

















Tum Mujhe Itna TORTURE

Kr Kese Leti Ho. . . =P =D


Call It A Fate

0r Some Miracle Upon You,

There r Few Things Which

No 0ne Can Do Better Than You,

Whenever I’ll Die

I’ll Ask GOD For Sure

















Tum Mujhe Itna TORTURE

Kr Kese Leti Ho. . . =P =D


25 Take The Disc 0ut 



Why Is There An “EJECT”

Button 0n The Dvd Remote?

I Still Have To Get Up


Take The Disc 0ut…

It’s Like

Having A Remote To 0pen

The Fridge…!! 😉


26 E v e r y o n e Wants You To B e H o n e s t Until You Tell The 




E v e r y o n e

Wants You To

‘ B e – H o n e s t ‘


You Tell Them

How Much They E v e r y o n e

Wants You To

‘ B e – H o n e s t ‘


You Tell Them

How Much They

‘S u c k. . .’ =P =D


‘S u c k. . .’ =P =D


27 Save Girl Child 



New & Effective Slogan To Protect Girl Child-



“Save Girl Child

Else Ur Son Will Be Forced To Be G A Y”


28 I Really Miss You 



Ex-Boyfriend N Ex-Girlfriend Run

Into Each 0ther

Girl : Hey! Listen,

I Really Miss You

Boy : *Sneezes*

Girl: Bless You , Are You Sick?

Boy: No, I’m Just Allergic To



29 Known To Mankind 



One day

Twitter, Facebook And



Will Combine To Make The

Most Time Consuming Website

Known To Mankind.

We’ll Call It




30 Until Its Gone 



You Never Know

What You Have

Until It’s Gone. . .

That’s Wrong.



You Never Know

What You Have

Until. . .

You Clean Your Room. . . 😉


31 Rules of 21 century




Adapted In 0ur Lives …


1. The Farther Away The Remote Is,

The More You Like What’s Already



2. If You Have To Say Something

More Than Once, Its Not Worth

The Energy


3. If You Spill Water, It Will

Eventually Dry


4. Don’t Charge Your Phone Till It

Says 5% Remaining


5. If Its Not On First Search Page

On Google, It Doesn’t Exist


6. Why Make Your Bed When You

Are Just Gonna Get Back In It Again


7. If An Object Is More Than 5 Feet

Away , It Becomes Unnecessary


8. If You R Late , Don’t Go


9. If You Drop The Ice Cube, Just

Kick It Under The Fridge …

=P =D


32 Most Wonderful News 





Most Irritating Moment –

Morning Alarm…


Most Difficult Task –

To Find Socks…


Most Dreadful Journey –

Way To Class…


Most Lovely Time –

Meeting Friends…


Most Tragic Moment –

Surprise Test In 1st Period…


Most Wonderful News –

Teacher Is Absent… =P 😉


33 Removing A Virus 



Height Of Being



An Computer Student

Washing His Hands

With Dettol After

Removing A Virus

From His System


34 Timing 8am To 1pm 



Boy : What Is Ur Name

Girl : Q Bataon, Me Tumhein Nahi Janti

Boy: Na Batao Me Konsa Tumhen Apni New

HONDA Car Main Bitha K

5 Star Resturant Le Jane Wala Tha

Girl: Nida, B.Com Final Year, Punjab College

College Timing 8am To 1pm,

Friday Timing 8 To 12pm

Sunday Off

Aati Abu K Sath Hun

Wapsi Pe Akeli Hoti Hon


35 If girl in luv



If girl in luv,Her parents ask:

who is dat IDIOT?

If boy in luv,

His parents ask:

Idiot,who is dat girl?


MORAL:No matter

whoever in luv,

Boyz r always Idiots…


36 A Married Man Have 



A Married Man Have An Affair Wth His Secretary


One Day They Went On Date & Spent So Much Time That It Became 8PM


While Returning Home Man Rubbed His Shoes & Cloths Grass & Dirt


At Home, Wife Asked “Where You Were ?


He Replied, I Cant Lie To U, I’m Heaving An Affair And Coming From Date


Wife Looked At Him & Shouted


Jhootay! Cricket Khail K Aa Rahay Ho Na . . .


37 I Dont Like Her 



A Young Pakistani Man Excitedly Tells

His Mother He’s Fallen In Love

& Says”I M Goin To Bring Over 3 Women

& U Try & Guess Which1 Im Going To Marry”


Da Next Day,


He Brings 3 Beautiful Women Into D House &


Thy Chat 4a While


Later He Says, ” Ok Maa,

Guess Which 1 Im Goin To Marry.”


She Imediatly Replies,”The 1 On D Right.””


Thts Amazing, Ma.U R Right.How Did U Knw?”


The Pakistani Mother Replies


” I Dont Like Her”!!!! …:-P


38 Boy Was Going With His GF  A Boy Was Going With His G.F.




Frnd Asked : Who Is She?


Boy : My Cousin….

The Frend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin….! 😀


39 Who Can Stop 500 Cars 



Who Can Stop 500 Cars

With One Hand .??















Ans-It’s Traffic

Police.. ;->;-)


40 Top 3 Sweetest Sleeps 



World Top 3 Sweetest Sleeps*


1:- Sleeping on Moms Lap When We Are Tired.


2:- Sleeping on Lover’s Shoulder When We Are Alone.

3:- Sleeping With Open Eyes When Our Teachers Are Teaching 🙂


41 A Very True 



A Very True


Which I Really

Experienced Today


…”Whenever I Wanna

Fall In Love With My




Falls In Love

With me …” ;->


42 Very Effective Warning 



Very Effective Warning:


A Husband Gave The

Keys Of His New Car

To His Wife With A




If You Cause An

Accident , The

Newspaper Will

Print Your

A G E” =P 😉


43 Can U Delete Ur Facebook Account 





A Boy N Girl On Date !


Boy: I Can Do Anything

…For U


Girl: Can U Die For Me?


Boy : Yes !


Girl: Cn U Bring Stars For



Boy: Yes !


Girl: Can U Delete Ur

Facebook Account For Me?


Boy: Behan Jee ,

Aap K Ghar Wale Pareshan

Ho Rhe Ho’n Ge , Aap Ghar

Jayiye … =P 😉


44 I Is 



Teacher To Student: Give Me A Sentence Starting With “I”


Student: I Is. . . .


Teacher: No, Always Say, “I Am”


Student: All Right,


“I Am The Ninth Letter Of The Alphabets.




Hmesha Efficiency Nahi Jharni Chahye, Kabi Kabi Students Ki B Sun Leni Chahye;)


45 Its Hard To Sleep 



Its Hard To Sleep When You Know

How Burdened Your Mind Is…


It Is Even Harder Going To Sleep

When You Know There Is

Left Over Pizza In The Fridge… ;->


46 Nurse investing A Car Accident 



Nurse Investigating A

Patient With Head



Nurse: Name?

Patient: Jhonny


Nurse: Age?


Patient: 39


Nurse: Married


Patient: No No , Its A

Car Accident .. =P =D


47 Now Forward Kill Others Brain 



3 Guys Name




Were Talking


What:Why What R U Doing?


Why:I Dont Know What Are You Doing.




Why:Why R U Caling Me? What?


What:Now Why Did U Cal Me?


Why:What! When Did I Cal U?

When:What Is Ur Problem Why R U Callin Me?

Why:What? Did I Cal U? When?

What & When: What

When:Why R U Caling Urself?

Why:Did I Cal Myself, When?


What:Why Did U Cal Me? Dont Ask When?

Why & When: What. ;->

Now Forward & Kill Others Brain.. =P


48 In a school function



In a school function 

A K.G boy started

closing his ears with

both hnds,

…when girl was about

to start her speech …

Others asked him

Why r you closing your


He replied: Dude, She is

my Girlfriend n She is

gonna start her speech








My Dear

Brothers n Sisters … 😉


49 A Kid Calls The Help Desk 



A Kid Calls The Help Desk To Complain About Computer Problem*


Kid:- When I Type Computer Password, it Just Shows Star Star Star Star. What is That joke?


Help Desk:- Dear Kid:- Those Stars Are To Protect You, So That if a Person Standing Behind, He Can’t Read Your Password.


Kid:- Yeah Okay, But Stars Appear Even When There is No One Standing Behind Me


50 FaceBook Pe Status 



Height Of Shock:


Malkin: Kya Huwa Tum 3 Din Kaam Pe Nai Ayi???


Kamwali: Memsab Mainey To FaceBook Pe Status Update Kar Diya Tha,..

… Ke Main Gaon Ja Rahi Hoon. . .



..APKE Pati Ne Comment Bhi Kiya,




About Syed Rubel

Creative writer and editor of amar bangla post. Syed Rubel create this blog in 2014 and start social bangla bloggin.

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